The question for the 2005 AP open prompt asks the student to analyse a work and state how a character outwardly conforming to society while inwardly questioning it adds to the meaning of the piece of literature.
Student 3A
The grader gave this student an 8, which I believe to be reasonable and just. With four pages, one cannot say this student was not thorough in his/ her analysis of The Scarlet Letter. Although I am not deeply familiar with The Scarlet Letter, one cannot deny the ability of this student, who not only creates the mentioned four pages of analysis, but also masterfully ties it in with the original thesis. The writer tells of how the character Dimmesdale, a minister, suffers from the internal turmoil of knowing he is a sinner. This is tied to the prompt, as the writer adds to how Dimmesdale conforms to the puritan society by not revealing his sin publicly, but privately punishing himself. A solid analysis and a solid tie in to the thesis, the grader states this essay "demonstrates significant insight". I would give it an 8 as well.
Student 3B
This essay, as the grader mentioned, starts with a solid thesis. Covering "A Doll House", the student writes about the outside versus inside conformity of the character named Nora as "on the one hand, Nora wants to be the perfect wife" but also "she wants independent thought". This sets up the essay nicely, a nice start. Unfortunately, the rest of the essay falls short in delivering the same substance demonstrated in the thesis. Despite using the word "conformity" many, many times this student demonstrates little understanding of exactly why he/she has littered the page with this mysterious word, as the student continues to list multiple "conformity" things with little reference and tie in to the initial thesis statement. Furthermore, this student devolves into a discussion of the impact this text had upon the feminist movement, ignoring the entire prompt and thesis rather painfully. The final sentence, rather than addressing the perfectly solid thesis, ends thus "Nora's [conflict with conformity] allowed Ilsen (the author) to show that the same tension existed in the minds of woman". Although this essay had much potential to rocket to an 8 or 9, the evidence and arguments failed to tie into the thesis or prompt and the focus, insight, and understanding of the student is questionable. Whereas the grader gave this student a 6, I would mark it down to a 5. Although the strong thesis was present, it was rather useless as the writer never quite built around it.
Student 3C
This student had written the essay around the book Their Eyes Where Watching God which was fine. What was not fine was the fact that the writer proceeded, with complete and utter abandon, to scribble two pages of mere plot summary, the quality of which was inferior to what you may find in Wikipedia. Demonstrating a complete lack of understanding of the prompt or even the entire purpose of the essay in itself, this student has a body paragraph and a conclusion without any purpose at all, listing the sequence of events that compose the story. Without any argument to criticize, I can't even say the writer was making a claim that was illogical. There was not claim at all. The grader awarded this essay a 4, stating that this essay "rel[ies] upon unsupported assertions." I would give a 3, as I believe there are no assertions made.
Hi Andrew,
ReplyDeleteGreat improvement from your last Open Prompt post! You did a nice job in addressing the key aspect of an AP Lit essay - analysis vs. plot summary. I know I told you last time to include less negatives and more positives in your responses, but to give someone an 8 and not a 9, you have to address at least one negative with the person's essay. Did the student use enough direct quotations? How was the overall organization? Your second analysis is very strong. You addressed every part of the AP Lit essay rubric - "insight and understanding", "effective composition", and "specific support". Well done. Again, with your third prompt, great job zeroing in on the author's problem of plot summary and lack of thesis. Overall, great job, Andrew. I can tell you read peer reviewer’s comments from last time (especially Helle’s)!
Andrew,
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I like how at the very beginning of this post you summarized what the prompt was. In my opinion this was a pretty good post. Your analysis of the first essay was good; you did a good job explaining reasons that the student got the grade that he/ she did. Like the AP graders, you said you would give this person an 8, which makes me wonder what kept it from being a 9. The analysis you did of the second essay was extremely well done. I imagine you went through a similar review process to what the actual readers go through as your argument for your score was well thought out and loaded with examples from the text. Your third analysis made me smile. It’s nice to see that I’m not the only one who will rip into these essays and I imagine I sound similar to your analysis of the third essay when I do. I would agree with you on your score for the third student though, and I am surprised they did as well as a 4 after reading it. Great post Andrew.
Your first and third responses seem lacking in content a bit. I wish there was more that you could have given there, perhaps in the form of quotations from the students' essays to back up your claims, especially in the third one where you write how awful it was, but never give the reader a clear understanding of why. I really like that you write what the AP reader gave and what you would give and I like how you tell us why your analysis differs from the AP reader's. In the second response, I would like more direct quotes also, especially about the thesis! You spend most of that response praising the thesis of that essay, but as the reader, I never really know what the thesis was about or what made it so special in your eyes. And, though I did say that the first and third responses seem lacking, what analyses you do provide in them (more prominently in the first one) is excellent.
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