I have to make a confession to you guys: I wasn't looking forward to this post. There, I said it. Strike me down for my blasphemy, but I am not zealous towards, after a complex navigation through several files, reading not only a prompt for an essay, but also student responses to that prompt. Then reading the grader's response to those responses. Then writing a response to the responses of the responses. See where I'm getting at here?
Anyways, this time I looked at the 2003 sample responses. The prompt was about analyzing a question a work of literature spawns and how the author answers that question. I'm sure your responses to my responses (to a response to a response) would be less positive than last time, 'cause I am not in that critical kind of insane mindset this time around.
Student N
The grader of these three essays seemed much more lenient than what was acceptable. Completely unacceptable. However, I do agree with the 8 that was awarded to this student. Whereas this essay was solid, it was not extraordinary. Competent, but not fantastic. Although the first paragraph opens nicely, with great dramatic statements, I feel as if the thesis does not quite nail the question. Rather than saying that the author and the story see to answer a question, the student talks of the plot and how the character seeks to answer a question about life. The student could have, and should have, tied the entire essay closer to prompt, however, he/she only tied the superficial plot and did not dive deeper into explanations and the literary meanings and so forth to do so. Sure, the evidence was not lacking, as the student devotes an entire second paragraph to describing the work he/ she was analyzing, but evidence is meaningless unless given meaning. Although the student does devote the third paragraph to do so, seemingly contradicting my earlier statement, I find it wanting. It just does not go further that it could have to get a perfect score. The essay does have a nice analysis, I disagree with the grader's assessment that all that is needed is a more sophisticated syntax: the ties to the meaning of the piece are a bit weak.
Student J
I dislike this student right off the bat. Right of the bat. Ignoring the duties I have as a critic, I was horrified at the prolific amount of scribbles dotting the page. I suppose that this could be attributed to the "pen" factor. Anyways.
I also dislike the grade that this grader gave this student. I believe that the grader, as mentioned earlier, was far too lenient. A 6 was given. A 4 should have been given, and the essay was far from "competent" as the grader claims. The opening paragraph was barely passable, answering the prompt, but in such a clumsy and inadequate manner that one would recall only the worst possible essays written in our youth. Furthermore, not only does the rest of the entire essay fail to connect with the prompt, it fails to connect to the introduction that the student himself/herself wrote. For crying out loud! What is the point of writing the thesis if you don't do anything with it? No, the student, for the rest of the essay, runs amok, unhindered, creating a poor and unjust plot summary of one of the greatest novels ever made (also, one of my favorite books). So excuse me if you hear me screaming in agony. And what does the student do with such a plot summary? Well, I don't know. The student mentions, vaguely, about something with society and freedom, not mentioning any kind of legitimate question pertaining to the prompt, with minimal support. The concluding paragraph further demonstrates this student's ineptitude. It does not tie in, at all, with the thesis, and is composed of meaningless jabber about freedom. Or something. The connection with the prompt is even more vague, as the student raises, not one, but two questions, that supposedly came from the text. What? All supported by vague summaries about the plot. The grader gave this student a 6 on the basis of a single sentence. I give a 4, and that by itself would be too kind.
Student UU
The essay could be summed up by a single sentence the grader uses: "the writer never rises to the level of true analysis". This student chose a piece I was unfamiliar with, Things Fall Apart, and simply states the plot. The meaning and how the meaning of the piece is enhanced is never discussed. Furthermore, the prompt, referring to a question that is brought up by the piece, is never addressed. The writer is completely off topic, discussing cultural changes: "things do change and never stay the same." The whole reason for the essay is to describe questions and answers in literature, you dummy. Whereas the grader awarded the writer a 3 based on pure potential, I disagree. Potential is nothing unless it becomes something. I would award the writer a 1. He/ She demonstrated a complete lack of understanding of the prompt, the piece, the meaning, and the purpose of the essay. The grade should reflect that.
Well, Andrew. Despite your fears, I once again enjoyed your critiquing. However, in the second response, I would've liked to have seen you give a few positives to this person's Open Prompt. The professional AP graders are trained to do what they do, so maybe you could actually quote some of their comments and refute them. Basically, you should've shown the other side (the positive side) of the argument. Even in the first response, you say that the student had a "nice analysis" but only went into the negatives of it. Why did the student have a nice analysis? Overall, I think you need to address more positive aspects of each essay - if only to make your negatives seem stronger by contrast.
ReplyDeleteAndrew,
ReplyDeleteI also dislike writing open prompts. There are so many files to go through! Anyways, I thought you did a good job of analyzing these essays, though I must admit, your answers may have been somewhat bias since student 2 was analyzing your favorite book. Despite this, it seemed you did a pretty fair job in your grading. For the first student you noted that the student was marked down due to not fully answering the question. This was a great pick up. In your response to student 2, I found it funny, you noted the "pen factor." You go on to discuss the lack of textual evidence and the lack of structure to this essay. This definitely seems like it deserves only a 4. Your response to student 3 you referenced the AP graders response, which I thought was really great. You noted that this student lacks any analysis. However, to me, it seems in order to give someone a 1, they would simply have to only write their name on the paper. This score may be a bit harsh. Overall, I think you're on the write track. Keep up the good work!
Andrew,
ReplyDeleteSeriously you're killing me here. I had a blast reading your responses (especially the second one LOL). Your honestly is truly something to appreciate - people these days are too kind and unobtrusive and faulty. I think I analyzed the same open prompt, however, I can't tell because you never really mentioned what the students' were talking about. Next time, I'd like to see you mention more of what the student was talking about so I can have a clear understanding of why you feel the way that you do. Although I enjoyed your responses, I do feel that you may be getting a little too personal. I understand that you may find it hard to read something that doesn't give justice to your favorite book or whatever, but try to stray from your own personal beliefs. Read the paper like you've never read the book the student is talking about and really analyze for how well the student did to describe and analyze that book. I don't know, that's just how I feel. Keep up the good work, but remember, there's always room for improvement!